youngstero:

my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

dauntlesshadowhunterravenclaw:

TACO NEEDS TO KEEP HIS LITTLE MOUTH SHUT 

lapfoxs:

this is literally everyone on tumblr

pvnk-is-dad:

I crave intimacy but I get confused and uncomfortable when I’m shown even the slightest bit of attention or affection.

pu-mpkin:

why don’t police use akinator to solve crimes that fucker knows everyone

artigosaurus:

queen-of-dork:

i-am-a-cat-eins-zwei-drei:

debisanacronym1:

WHY ARE NONE OF YOU FUCKERS FLIPPING SHIT?!?

NASA HAS DECLARED PLUTO A PLANET AGAIN

IT HAS MOONS!!!!! IT HAS MOONS!!!!!!!

WHAT. WHAT! PLUTO YOU FUCKING DID IT!

VIVA LA PLUTO, YOU DID IT!!!

wallflowerneverland:

me interacting with people 

wallflowerneverland:

me interacting with people 

xombiedirge:

Comic Book Origin Montages by John Byrne

sofapizza:

naughtywater:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

He’s ready.

the time is nigh

sofapizza:

naughtywater:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

He’s ready.

the time is nigh